Rain and Storm
by White Rose Archer
Summary: Rated for angst, suicide and light swearing. After Tsukasa logs out, everything starts to break down.


[If you like Tsukasa angst, read this throughly. I guarantee you'll be amused.   
  
Warnings: Spoilers, Thoughts of suicide, actual suicide, major Tsukasa angst  
  
Oh, and this takes place right after Tsukasa and Subaru's hands are about to touch. ]  
  
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Rain and Storm  
  
*Tsukasa's POV*   
  
It had finally happened. Just me and Subaru at last. No more hiding behind a screen, no more deleting things we want to say. It's real, I'm really here. With Subaru. "Shintoko, I'm so glad to finally see you again," she says. I freeze. Shintoko...? This... person isn't Subaru?[1]  
  
"I'm... My name isn't Shintoko," I tell her. Now she freezes. Whoever she is pulls away and looks at me.   
  
"You're right... I'm... sorry." She bows and walks away as it starts raining on my head. I stare up at the sky.   
  
'Those aren't raindrops,' I thought to myself. 'They're tears of mirth because people like God are laughing at me right now. ' I slump my shoulders and walk home. If I could even call it home, everyone disliked me there. I stare up at the apartment I lived in with my father. Same building, same alley on the right, same everything. All normal.   
  
Fumbling in my pocket for my keys, I half expected a monster to come through the door and try to kill me, or for Mimiru to open the door and be mad at me for forgetting something. When no such thing happened, I entered my apartment, took off my shoes and walked up the stairs.   
  
After I entered, I recognized everything. Even tousan in his chair, reading the paper. He grunted to acknowledge me before looking over his newspaper at me. Yeah, I'm back. Tsukasa, the same girl you used to beat on, yell at and generally abuse. I want to go back to The World but you speak before I can leave.   
  
"Back, are you?"   
  
"...."   
  
"Well?"  
  
"...." I've figured a small bit of logic. If I say nothing, I can't say anything wrong and he has no excuse to harm me because I didn't say anything. I've lost count of my scars.   
  
"Fine. You never did talk much. Maybe I shouldn't have even called that damn hospital to come for you." That got my attention. For the first time in several years, I spoke to this man I called my father.   
  
"It... was you?! You're the one who called those people to come take me away?! Damn it, I was happy there!!"  
  
"Don't you dare speak to me like that, you witch!," he shouts before slapping me. I was halfway to speaking again but decided against it. I've learned that talking to this asshole is like telling Sora to be mature. I walk off to my room, half expecting him to stop me but he doesn't. He's long since sat back down in his chair reading. Creep.   
  
I step into my room and glance about. My CDs are untouched, my computer is off, bed still made, TV saying something about a jewel[2]. Yep, I'm back in reality. I really want to go back now. I want to be back in the hospital and not have my logout work, so it would take another whole month to figure out a new one. One more month of freedom.   
  
Knowing that my life doesn't work that way, I set in my favorite american group and listened to Youth of the Nation. The song reminded me of the fact a lot of people I knew in The Wrold were only kids. Me, Mimiru, Sora, Aura, A20, Subaru. All of us are the Youth of The World. I stopped thinking of The World when my favorite lines came up:   
  
He was never really one of the guys  
  
No matter how hard he tried  
  
Often thought of suicide  
  
It's kind of hard when you ain't got no friends  
  
He put his life to an end  
  
They might remember him then.  
  
'I'm just like that kid,' I mused. 'I want to die... I should to... oh, dammit. ' I was tired of living. No one would mind if I was gone. I'd just be one less person that God will kill later. How to pull it off?   
  
***   
  
It was finally set. After a day of planning, I finally knew how I could break free of this god accursed world. You see, dispite being in The World for about 2 monthes, I remember where everything is. More specifically, I know where the sharper knives in the kitchen are.   
  
Tousan had just left for work so I knew that acting quickly would be wise. I weaved my way between the furniture and doors to the kitchen. My eyes gleamed at the silver knives in their holders, so pretty. I slipped one out. Nice, sharp butcher's knife. Perfect.   
  
I sat in the middle of my room, cross-legged. How to proceed? Sitting in the silence, I decided to write a suicide note first. Taking out my favorite yellow notebook, I opened it to a blank page and began writing.   
  
*Normal POV*   
  
The Toyko police had charged a man in the local area for child abuse. As Inspector Aoi Kimimoto investigated the house, she ran across the child's room. On the bed was a girl, dried blood on her neck, clutching a note to her chest, a blood-stained knife covering the paper. Cautious, Kimimoto picked up the note from the hands of the corpse. She read it, her heart getting heavier with each word:   
  
To Whom It Concerns,   
  
I am dead and free. I never had much fun in this life. With my father constantly beating on me and trying to put a stop to me. My video game The World was my only escape. For a month, I was trapped in that game. People were trying to figure out why I couldn't log out, who I was, why me of all people. I didn't care, just as long as I was free.   
  
Just today, I was freed from that game, only to remember why I started playing, to get away from my scumbag father and the death of my mother. But my efforts were in vain. I found that I was only findin more time to think of them.   
  
So I leave this world to be with my mother. I have no will or testament but I do wish to be buried with my headset of The World.   
  
Forever,   
  
Tsukasa.   
  
  
  
And as Maya Kimimoto cried, an angel with brown hair and aqua eyes cried with her.   
  
*OWARI!!!*  
  
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[ [1]= We are only able to ASSUME that the girl is Subaru. Tsukasa could only judge by appearnace.   
  
[2]= Shameless Inuyasha plug-in.   
  
Done! *falls forward*   
  
Chibi Koga: *holds up a sign that says READ AND REVIEW!  
  
Chibi Marik: *collects flames* ] 


End file.
